1 kid + 3 kids = 4 kids

I’m debating on whether to start a new blog due to the changes I have made in my life.  In 3 months, I’ve gone from being a single mom of 1 from Texas to a stay-at-home mom of 4 in Oklahoma. plus the future husband, who on some days counts as child 5.  When I was back in Texas I always said I didn’t want to stay at home and not work.  I still think I feel that way, but I’m managing to give this a shot. Everytime the dryer dings, I crave a job.  Almost every moment of my day, I crave a job.  Is this normal when you first start staying home after working?  Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I’m having a hard time not being independant.  Then I think it’s boredom or feeling worthless.  This week I’m struggling with the worthless feelings.  My patience is thin and I want to hide underneath the bed when the kids get home from school because I can’t handle the overwhelming feling of everything I cleaned and organized during the day is being destroyed or the fact that everyone needs to do their homework, but I have to crack a whip to get them started on it. I love them all, but I feel suffocated some days.  Is this normal?? How do these moms keep up with all the housework and cook dinner and stay on top of the kids messiness, then not want to freak the hell out???????? AND have time to decorate and do all these crafty happy things.  It’s like i’m part braindead when it comes to this domestic shit.  Will I get used to this? Nope. I want a job. NOW! Then I can bitch about the mess when i get home from work.  But, at least I won’t feel like I’m living in a bubble.  How do women do this??

 

Stay tuned……

When I need some off the wall inspiration….

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Thebloggess, also known as Jenny Lawson inspired me to start this blog. I’m reading her book for the second time because she is just that awesome! If anyone even reads my blog, you should absolutely go buy this book and be prepared to laugh your ass off! That’s all. Also, check out her blog http://www.thebloggess.com, it’s worth it people. If you have a weird sense of humor, like me (: Stay tuned…

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Laundry attack!

I actually love to do laundry, but today I don’t love it. The kids were apparently hoarding clothes in their room and decided to dump them all in the laundry room for me to do. Don’t get me wrong, that is my favorite room in the house because I spend most of my time in there, but now I have clothes to the ceiling. Good thing I have some stress to release.  Otherwise, nobody would be happy campers tonight.  I do know life could be worse. That’s all I have for now……needed to do a little bitchin’.

Stay tuned…..

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When life hands you lemons…throw them

Life can screw you in the arse sometimes, it can hurt, but as long as you get up and remember you have a meaning, life will scower into a hole and you win that battle.  I’ve been tempted to crawl into a hole lately, but I think about how far I’ve come and how many people depend on me to be here for them. How many people I need to tell that I love them, how many of my family and friends need to see me succeed in a relationship that I believe in.  For the first time in my life, I’m learning how to be a very private woman. Living in my personal bubble with my new family has shown me how capable I am of making this work. I have complete control over my daily life and it feels amazing. Life isn’t always perfect and people make mistakes that can throw your routine off track, but when you have true love and support, it is easy to find your happy place again.  Brush the dirt off your shoulders and chunk any lemons handed to you.  You are going to be ok. Period.

Stay tuned…..

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When your happy and you know it…

I have a new life, sometimes stressful, almost always emotional. Somewhere, somehow, and with someone. I’m striving to be the best mother I can, to make sure I take care of all the “wifely” duties. But, I’m scared, anxious, and most of all proud. I’m missing my parents, but I can only hope I’m doing nothing but making them proud. My new life isn’t easy sometimes, but it is sooo worth it. Can’t wait to marry the man God intended me to marry.

Stay tuned…..I have a heart full of blogs!

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