Category Archives: The Pit

When life hands you lemons…throw them

Life can screw you in the arse sometimes, it can hurt, but as long as you get up and remember you have a meaning, life will scower into a hole and you win that battle.  I’ve been tempted to crawl into a hole lately, but I think about how far I’ve come and how many people depend on me to be here for them. How many people I need to tell that I love them, how many of my family and friends need to see me succeed in a relationship that I believe in.  For the first time in my life, I’m learning how to be a very private woman. Living in my personal bubble with my new family has shown me how capable I am of making this work. I have complete control over my daily life and it feels amazing. Life isn’t always perfect and people make mistakes that can throw your routine off track, but when you have true love and support, it is easy to find your happy place again.  Brush the dirt off your shoulders and chunk any lemons handed to you.  You are going to be ok. Period.

Stay tuned…..

Sent from a world of nonsense

Rinse and repeat.

Today was Camryn’s last day of 1st grade. Another change in my life when I least need it. I’ve had better days this week and last, but today has spun out of control. My feelings are hurt and I’m afraid to cry. If only I had that love that everyone else feels when they have a bad day.

My world feels bad right now, but I know it will get better soon. I can make it through. This is what makes me beautiful….and imperfect.

Beautiful Changes

It’s amazing how the little things you change in your everyday life can make your life feel like it is worth living.  I’m slowly crawling out of my very deep and dark place I just recently visited.  I’ve changed a few things and for the first time in years. I’m feeling hope that one day this will pass.  One of the best things I have done is rid my life of toxic people and allow beautiful people to enter.  It’s like taking a breath of fresh air.  There are no words to describe the support I have right now from my family, coworkers, and real friends.  Feeling blessed is an understatement, but blessed and thankful are the 2 main emotions I’m feeling right now.  I will soon be on a “life plan” and begin to map out how to create more beautiful changes to make my life feel beautiful, not just look beautiful.  To anyone who is reading this and knows about this battle, THANK YOU for being here and there or wherever you are. Thank you for being you and thank you for seeing something in me that I cannot yet see.  I love each and every one of you more than I show.  For anyone who is reading this and you feel lost, just remember you are not alone and hold on just one more day because that day could be the one that changes your life forever.  I can’t guarantee I will feel this hope tomorrow, but I feel it today and will only find out if hope is there by not taking away my tomorrow.

Stay tuned..and beautiful..because you are beautiful.

Emotional Cleanse.

As I sat and waited to enter a new doctor’s office, my anxiety still high and scared to get the same response from this doctor that I did from my doctor yesterday, a peaceful feeling came over me. It was like God was telling me I’m going to be ok. I’m embarrassed of the way I am right now. I’m ashamed I have let this take over me and I hope to never be in this place again. The panic attacks felt deadly and feeling scared of myself was the scariest part. I have already made some important changes and excited to make more. For the first time in days, I feel hope and some weight lifted from my shoulders. I have a long road ahead, but hoping for brighter days in the near future.

Stay tuned….