Category Archives: My Oxygen

Busiest year of my life!

2013….whew. I’m tired already just thinking about this year. Let me start here…

I’m turning 30 in April, if that isn’t scary enough for me, I’m also having a baby. I still can’t believe I’m pregnant. It still doesn’t seem real some days. Since Ken and I had already planned to marry each other, we have decided to marry before our baby gets here. But wait….I’m not done…after a few months trying out this Stay At Home Mom thing, I’m going back to work. I’m cut out to be working, not cleaning, cooking, and slaving every moment of my life.

So far, the kids are handling everything well. We finally moved some of my furniture into the house and this is starting to all make sense, as God had a plan, now we are living it. Ken and I try to keep our faith a priority and we aren’t perfect, we sometimes make mistakes, I still worry too much about everything and he still balances me so I don’t fall off into the deep end. I never imagined myself in a loving, blended family of my own, but God has shown me that I have more meaning to this life besides being Camryn’s mommy. As I doubted myself daily in Texas as a woman, mother, office manager, friend, whatever I was, I know now that I learned and survived so much in Texas, all to prepare me for my life now. The pieces of my life puzzle are fitting snug into place. I still have so much more to do and have potential to continue bettering myself (as I will never be perfect) to become who I have always wanted to be….the type of mom that I’m satisfied with, a wife, a harder working employee, and many other things.

I do believe I’m finally making lemonade with all the lemons I’ve had stored my entire life.

Stay Tuned…

Sent from a world of nonsense

My Oxygen, My Love

7 years ago, I was recovering from bringing my baby girl into this world. I was in paradise. My life felt so real and worth living because she needed me. God knew I needed her and I still do. Everyday. Camryn gives me a reason, a reason to be ambitious, a reason to breathe. Life started for us 7 years ago and we have been through so much together. I’m confident that I’m giving her everything I can to make her love he life.

Happy 7th Birthday Camryn Anne! I love you more than I could ever express in words.

Stay tuned…

The time has come….

I’m finally learning what it’s like to find that special someone that makes your entire world feel complete. I can’t predict my future, but I can feel something surrounding me that I never want to go away. I trusted God to put the right person into my life that will take away all of my sorrow and heal all of the heartache that other men caused. My selflessness can soar and my heart can burn for love that I’ve never been given. Any positive emotion that one can experience is happening to me all at once. I’m excited to wake up to find out what the day is bringing me. I’m ecstatic to start a new journey with a companion that wants me in his arms every day. The blessings I’m being handed are worth every minute of pain that I’ve experienced in the past. I’ve found something and someone that completes me. I’m falling deeper into this lust, love, and happiness as the minutes tick by. I know this can only get better for Camryn and everyone involved. For once, I can say…I’m happy!

You are MY awesome K.O.

Stay tuned….

New milestone

I’ve been clouded with thoughts of my future these days and finally reached deep inside my soul to figure out what will truly make my life happier. My childhood surfaced and I realize I’m living a life that I think others will find acceptable, not a life that makes me happy. My new goal is to end up somewhere that doesn’t require such a fast paced environment. I’ve done nothing but bring extra stress and chaos into my life and I want Camryn to enjoy the simple pleasures that life can bring. I have a soft heart and would love to be a part if a community that I can help give back and help others in need. The easy-living way of life. I crave watching the sun set at night and giving myself a chance to breathe and relax. Being diagnosed with clinical depression and now suffering from multiple health issues, it seems I’m not in the right place. I know this isn’t something I can achieve overnight, but I now have hope that one day my life will find peace and Camryn can feel a sense of relief.  I’m going to keep praying that I make the right decisions that lead me down a path that reaches my goal.

Stay tuned…

Funkedified

In a little funk tonight. I’m missing Camryn. I’ve been home with my nose crammed in a book and feeling alone. I know people I want to be around are doing something fun, enjoying cocktails or at least have someone to converse with about their life. Is this my fault, I wonder? There isn’t but a few things I want to be doing right now and those things don’t exist in my life. Maybe life will change, maybe it won’t. I’m just ready for Camryn to be home from her camping trip and feel that satisfaction of knowing someone needs me at this very moment.

Tomorrow is a new day.