Considering I hold a foundation of faith in the good Lord, my heart will one day be healed from all the sorrow that it feels right now. I’ve never been so scared of falling in love or being emotionally available for a new man. I’m trying to understand how to move past another failed relationship, I’m trying to understand what I can do better because everyone can change and improve no matter how good you have it. I’m confident as a mother 90% of the time, but as a woman who wants to one day be someone’s wife, I’m not. It’s scary. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. I hold on to what is toxic for my life and find it hard to have enough respect for myself to push it away. It’s loving too hard or being just plain stupid. Who knows. So, here I am, trying to understand what changes to make and hope I move forward into healing and learn from where I am at now.